Epic Fail
by Darth Corsa and Darth Manul
Summary: AU, non-slash. Shortly after Tatooine Qui-Gon wants to kill his Padawan because of Anakin. What has he done wrong again?


**Title: **Epic Fail

**Summary: **Shortly after Tatooine Qui-Gon wants to kill his current Padawan because of Anakin. What has he done wrong again?

**Feedback: **Always appreciated. _You want to write a feedback!_

**Disclaimer: **The galaxy belongs to us, these characters — to Luсas.

**Author's Note: **Very sorry for my English, really.

* * *

"Stop right here, you, little brat — " Qui-Gon paused 'cause he really could not describe this _brat_ as 'little'. Young, maybe, but it didn't sound so ominously. "Ginger-haired brat!" Master Jinn finally cried out, "Let me only catch you!"

A long red braid disappeared around the corner. As Obi-Wan used to consider, Qui-Gon only raised his voice in a loud environment and today was an exceptional case. So, it was rather wise to find somewhere a safe place to hide. An older Jedi didn't manage to turn so graciously round the corner as his young Padawan did a moment ago and ran into something broad and soft.

"Jinn! What's happened?" Mace Windu asked, looking at a man beside him with surprise.

"I'm trying… to find my… Padawan… kill him," Qui-Gon explained, catching his breath. "Yes, I'll kill him!" He ominously added after some seconds, recalling a wild grey cat to Windu.

"Qui-Gon," he started carefully, "believe me, please, a murder of your Apprentice won't help you to train this Chosen One, Anakin… Anger, the Dark Side and so on, you know."

"The Chosen One!" Master Jinn produced a sound, which was similar both to a laugh and a sob. "I'm very sorry Mace, but I'm in a hurry now!"

"Qui-Gon, please, stop! Actually, I was heading to your quarters, before I found you here. I want to tell you about our decision. Obi-Wan, indeed, has both a proper training and an appropriate age for knighting. Besides, he can't be your Padawan for eternity, he is already twenty five. We will test Anakin once again, just a formality, you know, it will also help to set his training course. We have no reasons to disbelieve you. The situation now is so uneasy that he really should be trained. You will be free soon and will perfectly fit as his Master — "

"No, I won't!" Jinn growled. "And one more thing, Mace: if I don't kill Obi-Wan here and now, I'll continue his training until he learns _everything_! The end of the story!"

"But Jinn! Wait! What about Anakin? Is it a joke?" Mace asked stupidly, shaking his head.

"I don't know! Collect his mother from Tatooine and send him to the mathematical college! I don't mind!"

"He's definitely gone mad. Because of happiness, I suppose?" Mace thought and headed to Yoda's quarters.

* * *

After having a conversation with Mace Qui-Gon lost a trace of his Padawan and even could not find Kenobi's presence in the Force — seemed, it feared an angry Jedi Master too. However, young Kenobi was very predictable and Jinn easily found him in the gardens of meditation.

"Master! I didn't expect to see you here — " Obi-Wan murmured from a tall tree of _termeh_, hanging on the branch.

"Come here! You're already in a big trouble, Padawan! I'll rip your braid out!"

"Master, I'm quite comfortable here, really!" Obi-Wan assured him, pressing himself to the branch tighter. He had already considered how much time a Jedi can survive without food, water, and sleeping. Master Jinn wouldn't climb a tree, but definitely would be waiting beneath it. Kenobi had no intentions to wait for about a week and decided to think something now.

"Master! Are you here?"

"Don't worry, I won't go anywhere!" Jinn growled.

"You see, I'm really very sorry! It was a nasty mistake, but even a Jedi can't perform everything perfectly — "

"Shut up! You will be sorry, when I catch you! Have you even thought? Do you have _something_ in your head to think?" Jinn crossed his hands on the chest and heavily stared at his Apprentice. The latter decently looked at the opposite side, but said nothing.

"Ma-a-aster!"

"Maybe, I should better send _you_ to the mathematical college? You're as good Jedi as… Anakin is!" Jinn knocked the tree and then sat himself under it. "I have been training you for years and even couldn't think that you are not able to do a simple thing! Red-haired dolt, you are." He sighed.

Obi-Wan sensed that Master began to cool down a little.

"Yes, I'm a bad Padawan," he agreed just in case. "Master, do you have a rope?"

"No, but I have a belt! Just come here!" Jinn snarled. "Why?"

"I'll made a loop and hang myself here. I failed you, I'm so guilty…"

"Ah, stop it. There is no reason to do so, just come here, I'll give you a few cuffs on the nape and get some moral satisfaction."

"On the other hand," Kenobi carefully changed his tactic, "our situation was very stressful and you can excuse my behavior. The Queen's maids tried to talk me to death while you were in the town. There's no surprise that I had mistaken!"

"To mistaken that much you should have trained for a long time! You'll tell the Council about everything yourself! You know, I met Mace and he said that they allow me to train Anakin and are going to knight you!"

"To knight me? I don't mind at all!" Obi-Wan smiled, naively considering that a new rang would save his skin.

"No, my dear Padawan. It could only happen if you were not mistaken. In our case, you will continue your training. Until you learn **everything**! And come here or I'll count to three and use the Force!"

Deciding that it would be wise not to delay the unavoidable, Obi-Wan unclenched his hands and fell from the tree. The smack on the head followed immediately.

"Well, I really want to hear how you would explain yourself in front of the Council. I guess I'm rather lucky, because I decided to check Anakin's midichlorian count myself once again. What I can't understand that's how you have found the largest count in him? He doesn't possess the midichlorians at all!"


End file.
